To my darling husband,

Before you return from your business trip
I just want to let you know about the

Small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway.

Fortunately not too bad and I really didn’t get hurt, so please don’t worry too

Much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I

Accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.

The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when

it bumped into your car.
…..Click here to read more

Appearing online since early 2005, Chuck Norris facts, factoids and quotations on Chuck Norris just wouldn’t die. In fact it is growing and gaining new and younger following thanks to numerous websites and stores spreading Chuck Norris quotes and funny lines- it has entered into popular culture.

The facts are mostly funny if not silly hyperbolic claims about Norris’s toughness, attitude, virility, sophistication, and masculinity- even immortality! The guy’s a legend. Here are samples:

…..Click here to read more

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint . . . . .

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever
wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We
have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over
100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,
…..Click here to read more

Bottled water in your car can be very dangerous .

This was how Sheryl Crow got breast cancer. She was on the Ellen show and said this same exact thing. This has been identified as the most common cause of the high levels in breast cancer, especially in Australia ..

A friend whose mother was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. The Doctor told her: women should not drink bottled water that has been left in a car.

The doctor said that the heat and the plastic of the bottle have certain chemicals that can lead to breast cancer. So please be careful and do not drink bottled water that has been left in a car, and, pass this on to all the women in your life.

This information is the kind we need to know and be aware and just might save us!!!! The heat causes toxins from the plastic to leak into the water and they have found these toxins in breast tissue. Use a stainless steel Canteen or a glass bottle when you can!

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.

One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read:

Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.

Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.

Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope… Can you please help me?

Sincerely, Edna

…..Click here to read more

Have a history teacher explain this—– if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head

Now it gets really weird.
…..Click here to read more

click photo to enlare image.

The world’s largest water bridge (or canal bridge), built over the Elbe River in Magdeburg, Germany at a cost of 500 million Euros. Completed in December 2003, the bridge is 918 meters long and has been modestly described as “a giant, kilometer-long concrete bathtub.” See sources below for more information. (about.com)

Sources and further reading:

Europe’s Largest Water Bridge Opens
Deutsche Welle, 10 October 2003

Canal Bridge Magdeburg
Dillinger Hütte GTS, company Web site

I was shocked, confused, bewildered
as I entered Heaven’s door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
nor the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven
who made me sputter and gasp–
the thieves, the liars, the sinners,
the alcoholics and the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade
who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
who never said anything nice.
…..Click here to read more

France & Denmark have banned it from the country…

RED BULL – slow death …
RED BULL – slow death …
RED BULL – slow death …

Do NOT drink this drink anymore!!
Pay attention; read it all

As a public health safety, please pass on this email to all the contacts in your address book especially those with teenage children?

This drink is SOLD in all the supermarkets IN OUR country and our children ARE CONSUMING IT ON A TRIAL BASIS, IT can be mortal.

RED BULL was created to stimulate the brains in people who are subjected to great physical force and in stress coma and never to be consumed like an innocent drink or soda pop.

RED BULL IS the energizer DRINK that is commercialized world-wide with its slogan:’It increases endurance; awakens the concentration capacity and the speed of reaction, offers more energy and improves the mood. All this can be found in a can of RED BULL , the power drink of the millennium.
…..Click here to read more

A quick quiz to reassure you you’re still with it. Enjoy!

Dementia Quiz

Below are four (4) questions and a Bonus question to test your perception, reasoning and the quickness of your logical processing.

They are stated simply so you should try to answer them instantly.
To assure the accuracy of the results, you should not take your time , but instead, answer each of them immediately.

OK?

Let’s find out just how clever you really are….

.
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down slowly to uncover Q’s and A’s )

First Question :

You are a participant in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<
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A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband to ‘Please be gentle; I’m still a virgin’.

‘What?’ said the puzzled groom.

‘How can that be possible if you’ve been married ten times.?’

‘Well, husband#1 was a Sales Representative; he just kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he’d look into it and get back with me..
Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.

Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.

…..Click here to read more

The other day, I needed to go to the emergency room.

Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my old Army fatigues and stuck a patch onto the front of my shirt that I had downloaded off the Internet.

When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren’t that sick after all. Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time.

Here’s the patch. Feel free to use it the next time you’re in need of quicker emergency service.

…..Click here to read more