Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year. How long a minute depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on. Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live. Happiness comes through doors you didn’t even know you left open. [...]

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Dorothy was very upset because her husband Albert had just passed away. She goes to the mortuary to look at her dearly departed, and the instant she sees him she starts wailing and crying. One of the attendants rushes up to comfort her. Through her tears she explains that she was upset because Albert was [...]

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A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer’s showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted. As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the [...]

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This is what True Love is all about It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 a.m., when an elderly gentleman in his 80′s, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him [...]

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Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church. One Sunday, after the service, the priest counted the money and found there was less than anticipated, given the size of the congregation. He took Charlie aside and questioned him. Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings. The priest [...]

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1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood pressure sufferers – simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your [...]

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One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.” So he tied her up and went golfing. ************************************************** A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She [...]

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IMPORTANT: Never go thirsty when going to bed and be sure you have plenty of water during your 8-hour rest. Medical investigators in China, Japan and several Asian countries who performed autopsies on persons who died from ‘acute hemorrhagic pancreatitis’ found out that the majority of them had eaten NOODLES as their supper. This was [...]

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One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan went to visit Jesus in the Garden of Eden, and Satan came all happy and boasting. (Lk 4: 1-12; Job 1: 6-12) “Yes Lord, now I have everybody captive, well nearly everybody down there. I set put traps, I used the baits of temptation, I [...]

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Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer. ——— In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand. He approached her and asked; ” Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve [...]

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Two elderly people living in Trailer Estates, he was a Widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table, across from one another as the meal went on, he took a [...]

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ABOUT AREA CODE We actually received a call last week from the  809  area code. The woman said ‘Hey, this is Karen. Sorry I missed you–get back to us quickly. I Have something important to tell you.’ Then she repeated a phone number beginning with 809. ‘We didn’t respond’. Then this week, we received the [...]

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