Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, ‘Esther, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.’
Esther always replied, ‘I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars’
One year Esther and Morris went [...]

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In Honor of Stupid People . . .
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) –
‘Do not turn upside down.’
(well…duh, a bit late, huh!)
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On Sainsbury’s peanuts –
‘Warning: contains nuts.’
(talk about a news [...]

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(Religious content)
Just wanna share this message….
This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering that I have seen…

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.
As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.
They talked about so many things and [...]

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A father passing by his son’s bedroom, was astonished to see that the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up and tidy. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was
addressed, “DAD”.
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
Dear Dad,
It is with [...]

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Women always has a Clever answer
Man: “Haven’t we met before?”
Woman: “Yes, I’m the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.”
Man: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?”
Woman: “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”
Man: “Is this seat empty?”
Woman: “Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.”
Man: “So, wanna go back to my [...]

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Sometimes…
when you cry…
no one sees your tears.
Sometimes…
when you are in pain…
no one sees your hurt.
Sometimes.
when you are worried..
no one sees your stress
Sometimes.
when you are happy..
no one sees your smile ..
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But FART!! just ONE time…
And everybody knows!!

Gotcha!! You thought this was going to be one of those heart-touching stories!

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You might remember when this accident happened… 8 years ago in March.
This Southwest Airlines flight from Vegas overshot the runway at Burbank.
The plane smashed past the airport fence, careened across the street and ended up with a collapsed landing gear, right next to a gas station.
But that’s not the amazing part… look at the picture [...]

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Note: May be a bit too green even for an Irish joke.

In Glasgow there’s a little bar called McTavish’s. Now the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks he will buy the 5th drink for you.”
“Well”, said the Englishman, “at my local, the Red [...]

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A man’s daughter had asked the local priest to come and pray with her father. When the priest arrived, he found the man lying in bed with his head propped up on two pillows. An empty chair sat beside his bed.
The priest assumed that the old fellow had been informed of his visit.
“I guess you [...]

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This 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting.
When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her,
“What did you steal?” She replied, “A can of peaches.”
The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry.
The judge then asked her how many peaches [...]

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Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana’s death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess
with an Egyptian boyfriend
crashes in a French tunnel,
driving a German car
with a Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian who was drunk
on Scottish [...]

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Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.
He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.
The 10:00 PM news was coming on.
The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large Building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at [...]

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