One of my teachers had each one of us bring a clear plastic bag and a
sack of potatoes. For every person we’d refuse to forgive in our life,
we were told to choose a potato, write on it the name and date, and
put it in the plastic bag. Some of our bags, as you can imagine, were
quite heavy.

We were then told to carry this bag with us everywhere for one week,
putting it beside our bed at night, on the car seat when driving, next
to our desk at work.

The hassle of lugging this around with us made it clear what a weight
we were carrying spiritually, and how we had to pay attention to it
all the time to not forget, and keep leaving it in embarrassing
places.

Naturally, the condition of the potatoes deteriorated to a nasty
slime. This was a great metaphor for the price we pay for keeping our
pain and heavy negativity!

Too often we think of forgiveness as a gift to the other person, and
while that’s true, it clearly is also a gift for ourselves!

So the next time you decide you can’t forgive someone, ask yourself…

Isn’t MY bag heavy enough?

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint . . . . .

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever
wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We
have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over
100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard Work
and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there,
it’s the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top

Once upon a time two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a hitch.

Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.

One morning there was a knock on John’s door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter’s toolbox. “I’m looking for a few days work” he said. “Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there I could help with? Could I help you?”

“Yes,” said the older brother. “I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That’s my neighbor, in fact, it’s my younger brother. “Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I’ll give him one better. See that pile of lumber by the barn? I want you to build me a fence, an 8-foot fence, so I won’t need to see his place or his face anymore.”

The carpenter said, “I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post-hole digger and I’ll be able to do a job that pleases you.”

The older brother had to go to town, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day. The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing. About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. The farmer’s eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped.

There was no fence there at all. It was a bridge — a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work — handrails and all — and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming across, his hand outstretched.
“You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I’ve said and done.”

The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other’s hand. They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder.

“No, wait! Stay a few days. I’ve a lot of other projects for you,” said the older brother. “I’d love to stay on,” the carpenter said, “but, I have many more bridges to build.”

- 0 -

KEEP THIS IN MIND:
God won’t ask what kind of car you drove;
He’ll ask how many people you drove who didn’t have transportation
God won’t ask the square footage of your house;
He’ll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.
God won’t ask about the clothes you had in your closet;
He’ll ask how many you helped to clothe.
God won’t ask about your social status;
He will ask what kind of class you displayed.
God won’t ask how many material possessions you had;
He’ll ask if they dictated your life.
God won’t ask what your highest salary was;
He’ll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it.
God won’t ask how much overtime you worked;
He’ll ask if your overtime work was for yourself or for your family.
God won’t ask how many promotions you received;
He’ll ask how you promoted others.
God won’t ask what your job title was;
He’ll ask if you performed that job to the best of your ability.
God won’t ask what you did to help yourself;
He’ll ask what you did to help others.
God won’t ask how many friends you had;
He’ll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.
God won’t ask what you did to protect your rights;
He’ll ask what you did to protect the rights of others.
God won’t ask in what neighborhood you lived;
He’ll ask how you treated your neighbors.
God won’t ask about the color of your skin;
He’ll ask about the content of your character.
God won’t ask how many times your deeds matched your words;
He’ll ask how many times they didn’t.
God won’t ask why it took you so long to seek Salvation;
He’ll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven, and not to the gates of Hell.
God won’t ask how many people you forwarded this to;
He’ll ask if you were ashamed to pass it on to your friends.

In Honor of Stupid People . . .

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) –

‘Do not turn upside down.’
(well…duh, a bit late, huh!)
==========================

On Sainsbury’s peanuts –
‘Warning: contains nuts.’
(talk about a news flash)
==========================

On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine --
‘Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking
this medication.’

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

==========================

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding –
‘Product will be hot after heating.’
(…and you thought????…)

==========================

On a Sears hairdryer –
Do not use while sleeping.
(That’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)

==========================

On a bag of Fritos –
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

==========================

On a bar of Dial soap –
‘Directions: Use like regular soap.’
(and that would be???….)

==========================

On some Swanson frozen dinners –
‘Serving suggestion: Defrost.’
(but, it’s just a suggestion.)
==========================

On packaging for a Rowenta iron –
‘Do not iron clothes on body.’
(but wouldn’t this save me time?)

==========================

On Nytol Sleep Aid –
‘Warning: May cause drowsiness.’
(…I’m taking this because???….)

==========================

On most brands of Christmas lights –
‘For indoor or outdoor use only.’
(as opposed to what?)

=========================

On a Japanese food processor –
‘Not to be used for the other use.’
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)

==============================

On an American Airlines packet of nuts –
‘Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.’
(Step 3: say what?)
===========================

On a child’s Superman costume –
‘Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.’
(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

========================

On a Swedish chainsaw –
‘Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.’
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
===========================

Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread the stupidity to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even chuckle)…

Winter is here, Please  do not forget your flu shot!!

Eat right!

Make sure you get your daily dose of  fruits and  veggies.

Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.

Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build your immune system.

Walk for at least an hour a day, go for a swim (in a warm pool!) ,

take the stairs instead of the elevator, etc.

Wash your hands often. If you can’t wash them,  keep a bottle of  antibacterial stuff around.

Get lots of fresh air.  Open doors & windows whenever possible.

Try to eliminate as much stress  from your life as you  can.  Get plenty of rest.

OR

Take the doctor’s approach. Think about it…When you go for a shot, what do they do first?

They clean your arm with alcohol… Why?  Because Alcohol KILLS  GERMS.   So…….

I walk to the liquor store. (exercise) I put lime in my Corona …(fruit)   Celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies) Drink outdoors on the bar  patio     (fresh air) Tell jokes, laugh….(eliminate stress) Then pass out. (rest ) The way I see it…

If you keep your alcohol levels up,

flu germs       can’t get you!

My mother always said,    ‘A shot in the glass  is better than one in the a$$!’

Live Well - Laugh Often - Love Much

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. ‘Really?’ she heard whispered.

‘I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!’ and, ‘I didn’t know others liked me so much,’ were most of the comments. No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn’t matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his friends.

One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin. As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. ‘Were you Mark’s math teacher?’ he asked. She nodded: ‘Yes.’

Then he said: ‘Mark talked about you a lot.’ After the funeral, most of Mark’s former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark’s mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher. ‘We want to show you something,’ his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket ‘They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.’

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark’s classmates had said about him. ‘Thank you so much for doing that,’ Mark’s mother said. ‘As you can see, Mark treasured it.’

All of Mark’s former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, ‘I still have my list. It’s in the top drawer of my desk at home.’ Chuck’s wife said, ‘Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.’ ‘I have mine too,’ Marilyn said. ‘It’s in my diary.’ Then all the others shared how they saved their own lists.

That’s when the teacher finally sat down and cried.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don’t know when that one day will be. So tell the people you live or work with not just their bad side but more about what’s good in them.

-Adapted from the story of Sister Helen P. Mrosla

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the ‘Peanuts’ comic strip.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America Contest.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. 6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.

These are no second-rate achievers.

They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish.

Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners .

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today.

It’s already tomorrow in Australia.

(Charles Schultz)

(Religious content)

Just wanna share this message….

This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering that I have seen…

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.
As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.
They talked about so many things and various subjects.
When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said:
“I don’t believe that God exists.”

“Why do you say that?” asked the customer. “Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn’t exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people?
Would there be abandoned children?

If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain.
I can’t imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things.”
The customer thought for a moment, but didn’t respond because he didn’t want to start an argument.
The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber:

“You know what? Barbers do not exist.”
“How can you say that?” asked the surprised barber.
“I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!”
“No!” the customer exclaimed. “Barbers don’t exist because
if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside.”

“Ah, but barbers DO exist! That’s what happens when people do not come to me.”
“Exactly!” affirmed the customer. “That’s the point! God, too, DOES exist!
That’s what happens when people do not go to Him and don’t look to Him for help.
That’s why there’s so much pain and suffering in the world.”

If you think God exists, send this to other people—
If you think God does not exist, delete it!

BE BLESSED & BE A BLESSING TO OTHERS!

You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having “wealth” from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren,

“Purpose Driven Life “ author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California.

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body– but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend
trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act – the dress
rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.

We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn’t going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you’re just coming out of one, or you’re getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.

God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that’s not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys – you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don’t believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it’s kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.

If you focus on your problems, you’re going into self-centeredness, “which is my problem, my issues, my pain.” But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her. It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don’t think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.

Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.

Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?

Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God’s purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don’t get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn’t put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He’s more interested in what I am than what I do. That’s why we’re called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD. Difficult moments, SEEK GOD. Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD. Painful moments, TRUST GOD. Every moment, THANK GOD!!!

The Purpose Driven® Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? (Purpose Driven® Life, The)

Sometimes we just need to be reminded!

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by:
holding up a $20.00 bill In the room of 200, he asked,
“Who would like this $20 bill?”

Hands started going up.

He said, “I am going to give this $20 to one of you
but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.

He then asked, “Who still wants it?”

Still the hands were up in the air.

Well, he replied, “What if I do this?”

And he dropped it on the ground

and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.

He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.

“Now, who still wants it?”

Still the hands went into the air.

My friends, we have all learned a
very valuable lesson.

No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it
because it did not decrease in value.

It was still worth $20.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground
into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come
our way.

We feel as though we are worthless.
But no matter what has happened or
what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased,
you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you.

The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know,
but by WHO WE ARE and WHOSE WE ARE.

You are special

Don’t EVER forget it.

- 0 -

Count your blessings,
not your problems.

amateurs built the ark .

professionals
built the Titanic.

If God brings you to it -

He will bring you through it.