A quick quiz to reassure you you’re still with it. Enjoy!

Dementia Quiz

Below are four (4) questions and a Bonus question to test your perception, reasoning and the quickness of your logical processing.

They are stated simply so you should try to answer them instantly.
To assure the accuracy of the results, you should not take your time , but instead, answer each of them immediately.

OK?

Let’s find out just how clever you really are….

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Ready? GO!!! (scroll down slowly to uncover Q’s and A’s )

First Question :

You are a participant in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

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Answer : If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely WRONG! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, YOU are in second place!

Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don’t take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question :

If you overtake the last person, then you are…?
(scroll down)

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Answer : If you answered that you are second to last, then you are ; ;WRONG again. Tell me Sunshine, how can you overtake the LAST person??

You’re not very good at this, are you?

Third Question :

Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator.
Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 Now add 30 . Add another 1000 . Now add 20.  Now add another 1000 . Now add 10 . What is the total?

Scroll down for the correct answer…….

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Did you get 5000 ?

The correct answer is actually 4100 .

If you don’t believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it ?

Maybe you’ll get the last question right… Maybe…

Fourth Question:

Mary’s father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono, and ??? What is the name of the fifth daughter?

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Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn’t.
Her name is Mary you retard! Read the question again!

Okay, now the Bonus round,
i.e., a final chance to redeem yourself:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

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It’s really very simple
He opens his mouth and asks for it…

Does your employer actually pay you to think??
If so Do NOT let them see your answers for this test!

PASS TH IS ON TO FRUSTRATE THE
SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!
Have a nice day, one and all.

In Honor of Stupid People . . .

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) –

‘Do not turn upside down.’
(well…duh, a bit late, huh!)
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On Sainsbury’s peanuts –
‘Warning: contains nuts.’
(talk about a news flash)
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On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine --
‘Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking
this medication.’

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

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On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding –
‘Product will be hot after heating.’
(…and you thought????…)

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On a Sears hairdryer –
Do not use while sleeping.
(That’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)

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On a bag of Fritos –
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

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On a bar of Dial soap –
‘Directions: Use like regular soap.’
(and that would be???….)

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On some Swanson frozen dinners –
‘Serving suggestion: Defrost.’
(but, it’s just a suggestion.)
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On packaging for a Rowenta iron –
‘Do not iron clothes on body.’
(but wouldn’t this save me time?)

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On Nytol Sleep Aid –
‘Warning: May cause drowsiness.’
(…I’m taking this because???….)

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On most brands of Christmas lights –
‘For indoor or outdoor use only.’
(as opposed to what?)

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On a Japanese food processor –
‘Not to be used for the other use.’
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)

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On an American Airlines packet of nuts –
‘Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.’
(Step 3: say what?)
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On a child’s Superman costume –
‘Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.’
(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

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On a Swedish chainsaw –
‘Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.’
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread the stupidity to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even chuckle)…

(Religious content)

Just wanna share this message….

This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering that I have seen…

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.
As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.
They talked about so many things and various subjects.
When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said:
“I don’t believe that God exists.”

“Why do you say that?” asked the customer. “Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn’t exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people?
Would there be abandoned children?

If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain.
I can’t imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things.”
The customer thought for a moment, but didn’t respond because he didn’t want to start an argument.
The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber:

“You know what? Barbers do not exist.”
“How can you say that?” asked the surprised barber.
“I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!”
“No!” the customer exclaimed. “Barbers don’t exist because
if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside.”

“Ah, but barbers DO exist! That’s what happens when people do not come to me.”
“Exactly!” affirmed the customer. “That’s the point! God, too, DOES exist!
That’s what happens when people do not go to Him and don’t look to Him for help.
That’s why there’s so much pain and suffering in the world.”

If you think God exists, send this to other people—
If you think God does not exist, delete it!

BE BLESSED & BE A BLESSING TO OTHERS!

A man woke up early in order to have his morning devotion (prayer) in the
Lord’s house (church). He got dressed, set on his way to the Lord’s house.
On his way to the church, the man fell and his clothes got dirty. He got up, brushed himself up, and headed home. At home, he changed his clothes, and was, again, on his way to the Lord’s house.

On his way to the church, he fell again and at the same spot! He, again, got up, brushed himself off and
headed home. At home he, once again, changed his clothes and was on his way to
the Lord’s house.

On his way to the church, he met a man holding a lamp.
He asked the man of his identity and the man replied ‘I saw you fall twice on your way to the church,
so I brought a lamp so I can light your way.

The first man thanked him profusely and the two went on their way to the church..
Once at the church, the first man asked the man with the lamp to come in and pray with him.
The second man refused.

The first man asked him a couple more times and, again, the answer was the same.
The first man asked him why he did not wish to come in and pray.
The man replied, ‘I am Satan’. The man was shocked at this reply.
Satan went on to explain, ‘I saw you on your way to the Church and it was
I who made you fall.

When you went home, cleaned yourself and went back on our
way to the church, God forgave all of your sins. I made you fall a second time,
and even that did not encourage you to stay home, but rather, you went back on your way to Church.
Because of that, God forgave all the sins of the people of your household.
I was afraid if I made you fall one more time,
then God will forgive the sins of the people of your village,
so I made sure that you reached the house of God (Church) safely.’

Do not put off the good you intended to do as you never know how much reward
you might receive from the hardships you encounter while trying to achieve that
good. For your righteousness can save your family and nation at large.

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlya s tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.

FORWARD ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT.

Watch your ‘Thoughts,’ they become words. Watch your ‘Words,’ they become actions. Watch your ‘Actions,’ they become habits. Watch your ‘Habits,’ they become character. Watch your ‘Character,’ for it becomes your Destiny.’

Feng Shui Horoscope

Take just a couple of minutes to take this test & see what happens!
If you are honest this tells the truth — it’s pretty good.
Write your answers on a piece of paper, NO cheating!! The answers are at the bottom..

1. Which is your favorite color: red, black, blue, green, or yellow?
2. Your first initial?
3. Your month of birth?
4. Which color do you like more, black or white?
5 . Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
6. Your favorite number?
7. Do you like California or Florida more?
8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?
9. Write down a wish (a realistic one)

When you’re done, scroll down. Don’t cheat

Answers:
1. If you choose:
Red – You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black – you are conservative and aggressive.
Green – Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back
Blue – You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from
the ones you love.
Yellow – You are a very happy person and give good advice to
those who are down.

2. If your initial is:
A-K – You have a lot of love and friendships in your life..
L-R – You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love
life is soon to blossom.
S-Z – You like to help others and your future love life looks
very good.

3. If you were born in:
JAN – MAR: The year will go very well for you and you will
discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
APR – JUN: You will have a strong love relat ionship that will
last forever.
JUL – SEP: You will have a great year and will experience a
major life-changing experience for the good.
OCT – DEC: Your love life will be great, you will find your
soulmate.

4. If you chose…
Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will
be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You have a friend who completely confides in you and
would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

5. This person should be your best friend.

6. This is how many close friends you will have in your
lifetime.

7. If you chose:
California :You like adventure.
Florida : Youare a laid back person.

8. If you chose:
Lake : You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are
very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people..

9. This wish will come true if you send this to 1 person in
one hour. Send it to ten people, and it will come true before your next
Birthday

THIS IS A SIMPLE TEST….

If you believe that God is alive and well, send this to at least ten people and the person that sent it to you!!!!!!!!
This is so true. Sometimes it’s the simplest things that God asks us to do that cause us, if we are obedient to what He’s asking, to be able to hear. His voice more clear than ever. Please listen, and obey! It will bless you (and the world). Phil 4:13
This is an easy test – you score 100 or zero. It’s your choice.

If you aren’t ashamed to do this, please follow the directions. Jesus said, ‘If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father.’

Not ashamed…Pass this on.

Note: May be a bit too green even for an Irish joke.

In Glasgow there’s a little bar called McTavish’s. Now the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks he will buy the 5th drink for you.”

“Well”, said the Englishman, “at my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2″

“Ahhhhh, that’s nothing”, said the Irishman. “Back home in Dublin there’s Ryan’s Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they’ll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you’ve had enough drinks they’ll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house.”

The Englishman and Scotsman immediately scorn the Irishman’s claims, but he swears every word is true.

“Well,” said the Englishman “did this actually happen to you?”

“Not meself personally….no!” said the Irishman.

“But it did happen to me sister.”

IT’S A 7 LETTER WORD..
IF WE REMOVE 1 LETTER FROM IT,
IT REMAINS SAME.
IF WE REMOVE 2 LETTERS FROM IT,
IT REMAINS SAME
IF WE REMOVE 3 LETTERS FROM IT,
IT REMAINS SAME
IF WE REMOVE ALL THE LETTERS FROM IT,
STILL IT REMAINS SAME
.
WHAT IZ IT ?

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POSTBOX! : P

Fear Kills hope;
worry and anxiety crushes confidence,
ruin the power to concentrate,
and paralyze the initiative.
Fear is the fatal foe of all achievement.
It is the prisoner of happiness.