In Honor of Stupid People . . .

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) –

‘Do not turn upside down.’
(well…duh, a bit late, huh!)
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On Sainsbury’s peanuts –
‘Warning: contains nuts.’
(talk about a news flash)
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On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine --
‘Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking
this medication.’

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

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On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding –
‘Product will be hot after heating.’
(…and you thought????…)

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On a Sears hairdryer –
Do not use while sleeping.
(That’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)

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On a bag of Fritos –
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

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On a bar of Dial soap –
‘Directions: Use like regular soap.’
(and that would be???….)

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On some Swanson frozen dinners –
‘Serving suggestion: Defrost.’
(but, it’s just a suggestion.)
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On packaging for a Rowenta iron –
‘Do not iron clothes on body.’
(but wouldn’t this save me time?)

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On Nytol Sleep Aid –
‘Warning: May cause drowsiness.’
(…I’m taking this because???….)

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On most brands of Christmas lights –
‘For indoor or outdoor use only.’
(as opposed to what?)

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On a Japanese food processor –
‘Not to be used for the other use.’
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)

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On an American Airlines packet of nuts –
‘Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.’
(Step 3: say what?)
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On a child’s Superman costume –
‘Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.’
(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

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On a Swedish chainsaw –
‘Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.’
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread the stupidity to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even chuckle)…

A man woke up early in order to have his morning devotion (prayer) in the
Lord’s house (church). He got dressed, set on his way to the Lord’s house.
On his way to the church, the man fell and his clothes got dirty. He got up, brushed himself up, and headed home. At home, he changed his clothes, and was, again, on his way to the Lord’s house.

On his way to the church, he fell again and at the same spot! He, again, got up, brushed himself off and
headed home. At home he, once again, changed his clothes and was on his way to
the Lord’s house.

On his way to the church, he met a man holding a lamp.
He asked the man of his identity and the man replied ‘I saw you fall twice on your way to the church,
so I brought a lamp so I can light your way.

The first man thanked him profusely and the two went on their way to the church..
Once at the church, the first man asked the man with the lamp to come in and pray with him.
The second man refused.

The first man asked him a couple more times and, again, the answer was the same.
The first man asked him why he did not wish to come in and pray.
The man replied, ‘I am Satan’. The man was shocked at this reply.
Satan went on to explain, ‘I saw you on your way to the Church and it was
I who made you fall.

When you went home, cleaned yourself and went back on our
way to the church, God forgave all of your sins. I made you fall a second time,
and even that did not encourage you to stay home, but rather, you went back on your way to Church.
Because of that, God forgave all the sins of the people of your household.
I was afraid if I made you fall one more time,
then God will forgive the sins of the people of your village,
so I made sure that you reached the house of God (Church) safely.’

Do not put off the good you intended to do as you never know how much reward
you might receive from the hardships you encounter while trying to achieve that
good. For your righteousness can save your family and nation at large.