Viral Emails

A couple drove down a country road for several miles,
not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to
concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked
sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”
“Yep,” the wife replied, “In-laws.”

WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many
words women use a
day… 30,000 to a man’s 15,000.
The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we
have to repeat everything
to men…
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you
can be so stupid and
so beautiful all at the same time.
“The wife responded, “Allow me to explain. God made
me beautiful so you
would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I
would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee
each morning.
The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up
first, and then we
don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.”
The husband said, “You are in charge of cooking around
here and you should
do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait
for my coffee.”
Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides, it
is in the Bible that
the man should do the coffee.”
Husband replies, “I can’t believe that, show me.”
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the
top of several pages that it indeed says……….
“HEBREWS”

The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each
other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would
need his wife to wake
him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the
first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a
piece of paper, “Please
wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she
would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it
was 9:00 AM and he
had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife
hadn’t wakened him, when he
noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is
always a rough draft
Before the masterpiece.

SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN
YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.”

So he tied her up and went golfing.

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A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, “Honey, pack your bags, I won the lottery!”

The husband said, “Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?”

“Doesn’t matter,” she said. “Just get out.”

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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

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A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver’s license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters: ‘C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.’

“Can you read this?” the optician asked.

“Read it?” the Polish guy replied, “I know the guy.”

**************************************************

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them,”I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.”

“Thank God,” said an elderly nun at the back. “I’m so tired of chardonnay.”

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A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

“Careful,” he said, “CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!”

The wife stared at him. “What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?”

The husband calmly replied, “I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.”

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Copy-paste and forward this to at least 5 people and see what comes on your screen, you will laugh your head off!!!!!!!

This works. I don’t know how…